Trust

There was a man who happened to fall into lust with his guy friend. Despite that he knew very well that all was wrong he keep continuing what he felt. He even justify to himself that it was just a brotherly love but in reality he was dwelling into the slavery of sin – lust.

Nevertheless, his friend whom he had lusted with never knew his struggle. So his friend gave all his trust and confidence in his companionship. But one night, something terrible had happened.

As they hang-out together with some of their friends, both the two decided to spend the night to one of their friend’s house because it was already late in the evening. And as they spent the night in a room to take some sleep, the man who lusted his friend can’t sleep and was tempted to act lasciviously. But the friend was disgusted of what he has done.

Because of the incident, the trust of the friend towards him was like spilled water, suddenly dries up. So he ask for forgiveness and tried to fix things right but all is vain. Though he has been forgiven but his friend can no longer trust him anymore.

It's hard to admit but I am the man who have sinned against a friend. Indeed, he has all the rights to be mad at me and to put off his trust towards me. It is really a heart broken situation. He lost his trust on me and I have lost a dear friend because of lust. I insulted him as I also insulted myself.

Because of the incident, I had blasphemed God. Though I talked about Him and His righteousness but inside I continue living in sin. My daily walk with Him, my prayer life, my faith and trust in Jesus were all in a total mess. I even tried to continue feeding my lust and pride but I was never even satisfied. I never found the peace and the love that I was seeking.

One day, a classmate approached me and asking for some advices about forgiveness. I was hesitant to answer her because even I can’t forgive myself because of the incident. But there was a heavy burden that is in my heart to share to her the gospel. So I said to her, “You ca not give what you do not have.” As I uttered those words I was struck as if I was talking to myself. And the amazing part was that I happened to bring my Bible unintentionally. So I took it up and open Romans 3 and read it to her. As I was reading and explain God’s Word to her I realize that the message is for me. I was renewed and was reminded that righteousness is not of myself but it is in Christ Jesus through faith. So we bow before God and pray and asking for His grace and mercy. We can’t forgive ourselves and others if we have not been forgiven. But praise God! “He is so faithful that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). God is so great. He disciplines His children and indeed He will complete the good works that He has started in us.

Yes, we can’t depend ourselves because even our shadows will leave us in times of darkness. Or even to our friends and love ones because they have the ability to hurt us and hurt them back. But God is light and there is no darkness in Him. Jesus died on the cross to pay the penalty of our sin and by His blood we have been saved through faith in Jesus Christ alone.

Friends, God doesn’t overlook to sin. What we sow is what we reap. I know that there are consequences to every sin I committed and I must to face it and never allow Satan’s deception to rule over me and tells me that I was lost forever. I was lost but now I’m found. I was blind and now I see because of Jesus who first love me before I first love Him.

God made us imperfect to remind us that we are all dependent and in need to an omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent Almighty God. “For it is God who is at work in us, both to will and to work for His good pleasure” (Phil 2:13).

People might criticize and judge us because of our imperfections. But in the end we all stand before a Holy God and be held accountable of our self-pride, greed, lust, the unforgiving heart and most especially the way how we reject Jesus Christ as the only mediator between God and man. For salvation is not of our own, nor of our good deeds but it is through the death of Jesus Christ that justified and the works of the Holy Spirit that sanctifies for the glory of God the Father.