My inmost sorry to all...

One Sunday evening, me and my friends took some walked to go home from the church. After a long course, I spoke to them about my emotions and the madness I felt towards my family. I tried to open it up because I thought that this will help me eased what I felt inside. As I kept on talking, one of my friend suddenly interrupted that blows my tempered (to be honest, I often get irritated with this friend because he always interrupted every time I talked). Due to my temper, I became insensitive and spoke harsh words towards him that even made my other friend thought that I became angry with this guy.

Emotion is part of our humanity. We feel happy, hurt and loved because of this. But if we improperly used our emotions we are in a critical situation. It will lead us to become bitter, easily temper and even lost our self-control. We try to justify that we are just human, imperfect and commit sins. In a sense its true but the problem is; we overused this excuses to make ourselves feel good.

We may differ from our temptations, trials, struggles and story but we only have one problem and that problem is “SIN”. Temptation is not a sin but when temptation overcomes us then we are in sin. If we rely only with ourselves in overcoming every temptation then we are in a wrong track. Satan is more powerful than we are, he knows our weaknesses and he will use this to be his weapon to crush us down. Logically, we must to have someone who is more powerful than him. And that is JESUS CHRIST. Who died for our sins and was risen to the grave to show that He is more powerful than Satan.

I want to say thank you to the friends I mentioned earlier. To Karen, who is always there willing to listen in all my talks and never leaves me that day. And to Joel, though I often get mad with him; despite of what I've shown towards them, I realized that they are truly my friends. Who not only there to give advices but were also concern on my spiritual needs. I like what Joel said that evening “There's nothing wrong of sharing your problems with your friends, but before we speak it up. Talk it first to God, because He alone gives the best way on how to response every problem. Though it ease the pain when we shared it with our pal but in our hearts it will eventually grows into hatred.” Certainly it's true. If we will not confess our sins and anxiety to God we will never grow. Only by His redeeming blood that we'll be cleansed and only in Jesus Christ, that the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard our hearts and our minds (Philippians 4:7). In Luke 7:47 “Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.” This verse tells us that we can't loved someone when we have not been forgiven. Before we take some actions in every test we encountered let's seek first God's righteousness and He will surely provide a way out so that we can stand up under it (I Corinthians 10:13).

My inmost gratitude to Jesus Christ who uses that day in reminding me that He is indeed the vine and we are the branches and that apart from Him we can't bear fruits (John 15:5). Because of His great kindness, it will compel us to love Him back and also to love our fellow men.

To my mother and father, I am so sorry of not showing respect and dishonoring your authority. I love you so much mama and papa... I sincerely do.

To all my siblings, I am sorry for being a naughty brother to you. I am very jealous of how our parents treated us. And I know that it is wrong. I am so sorry. How blessed I am to have a brothers and sisters that accepted me of being me. I love you from the bottom of my heart.

To all my friends, I am sorry for all the things that I did that made you feel mad. I'm really sorry... I will treasure the friendship that we had.

And most especially to Jesus Christ my Lord, my Savior and my God. To you alone I sin. Forgive me Lord. And I love you more than anyone else. I rather have You Jesus...